These photos are from a photo shoot we did in February with Gail and her gardening friends. I was particularly inspired by the wonderful positive energy of Gail (82) and Eileen (93). Gail was actively involved in the practical arrangements and even skilfully made the outfits worn by the models. I love these photos, which illustrate with abundance and joy that it is entirely possible to be gorgeous, active, fun and fabulous in one’s 80’s and even 90’s.
It was soon after my 50th birthday that I started feeling scared of growing older. Suddenly the concept of old changed from something far away and abstract to a very real possibility coming soon to a physical body near me.
Complete strangers started calling me “oom” (“uncle”) and even “baba” (“father”) and once to my utter disgust a mother told her young son to let “die omie” (“the little old uncle”) go first. To add insult to this injury, a work colleague labels my inherent forgetfulness and general scatterbrained state, as signs of “getting old”!
Why this discomfort with the “O word”? And more specifically, the use of it in relation to me? I trace it back to my ancestors who did not leave me with a pretty picture of the years ahead. My parents and grandmother lived beyond 80, but with a really bad quality of life in their later years. For me as a child it was particularly disturbing when my grandmother (often) proclaimed that her life was a complete misery and that she just wanted to die.
When I moved to Cape Town in 2016, I started swimming early mornings in Kalk Bay and got to know an amazing group of early morning swimmers. Back then I was 46 and most of them were in their late 50’s and 60’s. As time went by the group grew and most are now in their late 60’s or 70’s and Gail in her 80’s.
Our invigorating morning routine consists of swimming and watching the sunrise, followed by coffee, chats and raucous laughter. They have consistently proved to me that whilst we differ in age by 15+ years, there really is no difference between our vitality, fitness and clarity of thought and mind. In fact, as far as the latter is concerned, with their years of experience and wisdom, I am the one lagging behind!
Surrounded by these and other beautiful older friends, why does growing old still scare me? It is the still lingering and very vivid image of my predecessors, that remains difficult to erase from my memory, and I continue to be plagued with thoughts that the same fate awaits me.
My older friends live a totally different lifestyle. They get regular exercise, are conscious of what they eat and drink, have healthy social lives and partake in various creative activities ranging from cooking, baking, gardening, painting, photography, serious card games, sewing and even fixing cars. And they never say no for a picnic on the beach, any night of the week!
Although we cannot necessarily control illness, there must be a correlation between the healthy active choices of my friends and their fantastic quality of life.
May growing older bestow upon me the gift of living like they do and particularly the qualities of “can do”, practical efficiency, wisdom, logic, mental clarity, good memory, inner calm, detached observance, kindness , gentleness, humility, generosity, resilience, bravery, acceptance, humour, unconstrained laughter, unpretentiousness, exuberance, zest for life, fitness, adventure, determination to make dreams come true, individualistic, elegance, dressing fabulously and the ability to host marvellous fun lunches that continues well into the evening!
With this, I say thank you to my inspiring examples of 60, 70, 80 and 90, a clear testimony to the possibility of aging beautifully, being fit and healthy and on top of that, a source of lots of fun, laughter and positivity. May you continue to light the way and may I have the privilege to follow the path of life in your footsteps.